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Posts Tagged ‘Ass Hats’

This would be hilarious even coming from Bill O’Reily or Sean Hannity. That it’s coming from a TV news anchor (not an analyst, mind you) makes this clip simultaneously hilarious and chilling in its are-you-shittin’-me quotient.

Check out this idiot from some station in Florida. One gets the sense she’d been rehearsing these questions for weeks, waiting for her chance to finally “stick it” to Obama and his socialist lackey Joe Biden. But give Biden mad credit for seeing right past this “hard-hitting” line of questioning and calling this whackjob out for her laughably over-the-top Fox News audition.

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Forget bulimia. Anyone looking to shed a few pounds need only to listen to the slime coming out of the mouths of Repulican fearmongers like Minnesota Rep. Michele Bauchmann, and you’ll be guaranteed to vomit right into your own lap.

Check this out:

Joe McCarthy would truly be proud.

The fact that an elected official from one of America’s two major parties would dare go on national television to accuse someone who very likely might end up our next president of harboring “anti-American” sentiments should sicken anyone who gives one iota of shit about honest, civil political discourse in America.

It’s easy to declare that Bauchmann, McCain, Palin and all the others who repeatedly insist on fanning these flames should be ashamed of themselves. But if shame were a possibility, we wouldn’t be hearing this crap. Rather, we need to ask them, WHY? Why do you think Obama is “anti-American”? Give me one example. Give me one reason. What has he said? Which of his policies, which have been laid out before the American people and seem to be gaining their approval, are “anti-American”? How can a man who might be chosen by the majority of Americans to lead them be “anti-American”? If the people are buying what he’s selling, hasn’t that issue been settled?

Where, exactly, is the anti-Americanism? Was is evident in being selected to the same conservative-lead, conservative-populated educational board as Bill Ayers? Evidence points to “no,” but that hasn’t stopped the likes of Bauchmann from peddling her phony outrage over the issue.

The GOP is clearly committed to this line of attack against Obama. They spend their time demanding “an explanation” from Obama about the nature of his association with Bill Ayers. They parrot this line repeatedly, and Obama has responded repeatedly, seemingly ready and willing to offer up the disclosure they’re demanding. But it doesn’t matter — the GOP will continue to act as if they weren’t listening, to put forth their dangerous insinuations by asking over and over for explanations that have already been offered time and time again.

Most ludicrous, perhaps, in all of this is that while Obama is forced to defend himself for serving on an educational board (founded by a pal of Reagan’s, no less) with Ayers, no one outside the liberal blogosphere — not even those insidious boogeymen in the “liberal” mainstream media — seems to give a shit about Sarah “Pro-American” Palin’s very real ties with the Alaska Independence Party, a uniquely Frontier State party that has made no bones about its interest in seceeding from the Union — an act that, by the way, isn’t just “anti-American” but flat unconstitutional as well. Gov. Palin was never a member of the AIP (although they initially declared that she had been), but her husband did join (if Michelle Obama’s remark about being proud of America for the first time is fair game to Bauchmann, than Todd Palin and the AIP sure as hell is) and Palin was more than happy to speak at their convention in 2006 while running for governor. (Oh, and this year she sent a video message to their convention: “Good luck … Keep up the good work.”)

Totally innocent and inconsequential, you say? A “smear,” you say? Fine, let’s agree to drop it if the GOP is willing to finally let go of this flimsy Ayers crap.

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I was going to use this space to discuss the lack of intellectual honesty in Republicans’ claims yesterday that Democrats/Nancy Pelosi/Barack Obama are to blame for the fact that John “The Conquering Economic Hero” McCain and John “I’m a Huge Boner” Boehner couldn’t wrangle up the GOP votes they had prematurely given McCain credit for wrangling up for yesterday’s failed $700 billion economic bailout package. (Let me see if I have this right: It was a good bill, worth voting for, that you planned to vote for, but Pelosi pissed you off with a “partisan speech” in which she — perhaps indelicately but justifiably, nonetheless — railed against Bush/GOP economic policies as the cause of our troubles, and you get all blustery and decide not to vote for an otherwise good bill. And then you turn around and blame the people who actually did vote for it. How small. How petty. How fucking stupid.)

I was also going to use this space to investigate the ongoing saga that is Sarah “Dinosaurs and Man Coexisted” Palin and her attempts to sound at least as informed as a 9th-grader on matters of national and international import. How bad is it when you’re blaming “gotcha journalism” when the media publish something you said in public to a voter? Seriously? Karl only wishes he were that cynical.

Yes, I was going to use this space to talk about all that. Instead, I’ll talk about an item that came across my desk this morning. Seems the mayor of Fort Mill, S.C., was “just curious” when he forwarded an e-mail (from a business account, not a city account) that suggests Barack Obama is the antichrist. Mayor Danny “Ass for Brains” Funderburk, intrepid investigator that he is, was merely “trying to get documentation if there was any scripture to back it up.”

I’m about to send the following e-mail to hizzoner Funderburk:

FWD: How to do biblical research by looking shit up in your bible as opposed to sending already-discredited bullshit to 50 of your most bass-ackwards idiot friends and family

This isn’t the first time South Carolina has made news recently thanks to one of these “who, me?” ignoramuses. Check out this jaw-dropper from the good-hearted Christians in Greenville. (But let’s just keep in mind that decent people — of which there are plenty in the Palmetto State — don’t make the news for acting decent.)

Ol’ Karl will be the first to admit this is all entertaining as hell. Sad, but entertaining. Distressing and deeply troubling, yes. But entertaining.

A dire forecast for the future of America, the world and humanity as we know it, absolutely.

But still entertaining — right?

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