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Posts Tagged ‘The Economy’

I was going to use this space to discuss the lack of intellectual honesty in Republicans’ claims yesterday that Democrats/Nancy Pelosi/Barack Obama are to blame for the fact that John “The Conquering Economic Hero” McCain and John “I’m a Huge Boner” Boehner couldn’t wrangle up the GOP votes they had prematurely given McCain credit for wrangling up for yesterday’s failed $700 billion economic bailout package. (Let me see if I have this right: It was a good bill, worth voting for, that you planned to vote for, but Pelosi pissed you off with a “partisan speech” in which she — perhaps indelicately but justifiably, nonetheless — railed against Bush/GOP economic policies as the cause of our troubles, and you get all blustery and decide not to vote for an otherwise good bill. And then you turn around and blame the people who actually did vote for it. How small. How petty. How fucking stupid.)

I was also going to use this space to investigate the ongoing saga that is Sarah “Dinosaurs and Man Coexisted” Palin and her attempts to sound at least as informed as a 9th-grader on matters of national and international import. How bad is it when you’re blaming “gotcha journalism” when the media publish something you said in public to a voter? Seriously? Karl only wishes he were that cynical.

Yes, I was going to use this space to talk about all that. Instead, I’ll talk about an item that came across my desk this morning. Seems the mayor of Fort Mill, S.C., was “just curious” when he forwarded an e-mail (from a business account, not a city account) that suggests Barack Obama is the antichrist. Mayor Danny “Ass for Brains” Funderburk, intrepid investigator that he is, was merely “trying to get documentation if there was any scripture to back it up.”

I’m about to send the following e-mail to hizzoner Funderburk:

FWD: How to do biblical research by looking shit up in your bible as opposed to sending already-discredited bullshit to 50 of your most bass-ackwards idiot friends and family

This isn’t the first time South Carolina has made news recently thanks to one of these “who, me?” ignoramuses. Check out this jaw-dropper from the good-hearted Christians in Greenville. (But let’s just keep in mind that decent people — of which there are plenty in the Palmetto State — don’t make the news for acting decent.)

Ol’ Karl will be the first to admit this is all entertaining as hell. Sad, but entertaining. Distressing and deeply troubling, yes. But entertaining.

A dire forecast for the future of America, the world and humanity as we know it, absolutely.

But still entertaining — right?

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